2 year old crushed to death by a FAT BITCH

This is a real news story. God I hate FAT BITCHES.

Death is imminent

Nightmare Haiku of The Day

bloated bodies sweat
finger stumps drag me into
holes in doughy faces

Attack of the F.A.T.A.S.S.

Click here at your own risk

LOLBitches

LOLBitches

Guess what's for dinner!

"No it's not you, skinny husband!"

LOLBitches

Warning! The following image causes extreme eyeball pain.

This gorilla has so much body fat my ball peen hammer BOUNCED OFF HER FOREHEAD! Stupid bitch.

Coping With Obesity

From a hidden camera on a FAT BITCH's face

Recent studies indicate that obesity in women can lead to increased risk of stroke, heart attack, and fat children that eventually grow up to be FAT BITCHES. As a medical doctor, my advice to you is this:

If you are a woman, and you are fat, you are a FAT BITCH. Do not re-produce.

The only cure for obesity is to kill yourself immediately, thus ridding the gene pool of your faults, and your stench. Here is the recommended procedure:

1) With a can opener, remove the lids from (2) cans of Fancy Feast cat food, liver or shrimp flavor
2) Discard the cans and food
3) Fold the remaing lids in half, icky side out. Do not remove the bits of food.
4) Have an assistant hold the folded lids vertical on a smooth, flat surface, approximately 5" apart
5) Bend forward at the waist slightly, and then slam your head down onto the lids so one lid enters each eye socket, and hopefuly your brain.
6) Repeat step 5 until you are dead.

Just remember this: It only takes seventeen muscles to smile, but it takes forty three muscles to be fat.

Newsflash: Crazed Hippos Invade Local Pool

A pod of rabid hippos invaded a public swimming pool today, terrorizing young children and generally being smelly and obnoxious. Animal Control officers report that...

Oh wait, it's just a bunch of FAT BITCHES. Nevermind.

LOLBitches

Fat Bitch FAQ

Frequently asked questions, and answers, from the world's leading authority. Enjoy.
Are FAT BITCHES dangerous?

YES. An adult FAT BITCH can easily crush a grown man between its butt cheeks. Plus they emit large amounts of flammable methane gas and they usually have rabies.

What do FAT BITCHES eat that makes them so fat?

A FAT BITCH typically consist approximately 85% body fat and 15% bacon. Not surprisingly the preferred food of fat bitches is pork products, followed closely by Twinkies and bulk lard. However when FAT BITCHES enter a feeding frenzy they have been noted to consume whole birthday cakes, live chickens, feces, and yes, even humans.

Can FAT BITCHES be domesticated for use as pets or plowing fields?

No, unfortunately they are not intellligent enough.

How do FAT BITCHES reproduce?

That is still a mystery. This much is known: FAT BITCHES in the wild communicate through a series of grunts and squeals, and when in heat will attempt to mate with anything handy including spare tires and dead wetbacks.

Are Fat Bitches related to humans?

Recent research indicates that FAT BITCHES may actually be a mutation of normal human bitches that have been infected by a virus known as "cooties".

What can I do to help your cause?

1) Using a 2x4 piece of wood, bean a FAT BITCH in the back of the head as it's walking down a flight of stairs.
2) Blow up a bacon factory. Interrupting enemy supply lines is a tried and true wartime tactic.
3) Puke in a FAT BITCH's face. Just be careful not to get too close as you might get caught in the FAT BITCH's gravitational field.
4) Cram one of those clay lawn jockey statue things up your ass. It wouldn't actually help the cause but it'd be pretty funny.
5) Hold a FAT BITCH awareness rally at the local elementary school. Work the children up into a frenzy of hate, arm them with spot welders and ice picks, and release them into a locked cage with some FAT BITCHES you had hog-tied in advance. Then run like hell.
6) Krazy Glue a FAT BITCH's mouth shut (stapling may be substitue
d for Krazy Glue if you are environmentally concious)

Fat Bitches in the News

Black Guy Meets Fat White Chick
Compton (Reuters) Local dominos champion Levitra Simmons reported today that her boyfriend, Ray Ray, has left her for a "Honky ass white bitch". While details are not clear at this time, Ms. Simmons did indicate that the the honky bitch in question is, in fact, fat. Levitra's problems were only compounded when she attempted to drown her problems with food and drink. Ms. Simmons is shown here at the pivotal moment when she discovered that the Ralph's grocery store on 114th Street no longer carries RC Cola.

Local witnesses were quoted as saying "Dat bitch done tripped out."

Ray Ray could not be reached for comment.